Hey, y’ all. Welcome back. I am so excited. Today we’re going to be talking with Bethany Dole. She’s actually a friend of mine for gez a lot of years.

Let’s see, is it 18, 19, like 15 years, which is crazy to think about that we’re that old. But Stephanie, or Stephanie. Bethany is a health and wellness coach.

And what she does is she works with midlife mamas, women groups of people who want to feel strong again.

And that’s something that really resonated with me as she started to coach, that I’ve been, you know, watching her and seeing how she transformed herself. So I’m excited to talk to her about that.

She also helps women to become more confident and actually just take control of their bodies, especially like you.

When we’re in this midlife chapter, our hormones, we have belly fat, you know, and just things that start popping up that we actually aren’t really inviting in, but they’re there and we have to deal with them. Right. So. So I’m super excited. She’s certified in faster way, which she was going to talk about.

She’s really very knowledgeable about macros and hormones. So we’re going to dive in. She’s going to tell us a little bit about her story, and then we’re just going to kind of roll from there. So welcome.

Bethany, thank you so much for coming on today.

Right, well, thank you for having me.

So obviously we’ve known each other a really long time. For those who don’t know, we were kind of in the dance world together. And that consumes a lot of you as a parent, as with any sport.

And so there were many years where I think we can both attest to putting us second or third or fourth or fifth on the list. And so tell us a little bit about your story. I know you were a gymnast to get started.

So you have that athletic background and you’ve always been kind of in the healthy, you know, world. But again, you went through a transition and now you’re here. So I’m excited to hear from you, your story.

Yeah. So like you were saying, I was a gymnast growing up, did that my whole entire life, all through college.

So I did high level gymnastics, you know, got married, had kids, all those things. And like you said, it’s. Life just starts going, it goes fast. And I worked out, I’ve always worked out, figured it out somehow.

It wasn’t always perfect. It’s still not perfect. I just figure out how to fit it in. But it’s always been A priority for me.

I started seeing different things happening to my body, how I was feeling. I was not. I was just not feeling good in general overall. I was feeling tired and feeling like I was not motivated.

And then I started just packing on pounds. I was eating what I thought was healthy, clean, whatever.

All the things that people say, doing the workouts, all the things that I thought I was doing were right, and started just gaining weight, pound after pound after pound.

Now, I’ve never been, like, what you would consider overweight, but for me, it was just this, like, oh, my gosh, I cannot stop the weight from coming on. I don’t know what’s going on. And it was bothering me immensely because I felt like I was doing everything right.

So I want to stop you for one second because that story, you know, I know parts and pieces of that will resonate with a lot of people that are listening. And, you know, first of all, we have to give ourselves grace because as you said, we were taught how to be healthy one way, right?

And that may have worked in your 20s, it may have worked in your 30s, but there is a shift that goes on within women during their 40s and their 50s. And for a lot of us, those things no longer serve us.

And the parts and pieces from a holistic lens that we have not worked on become some of the driving forces for some of the negative outcomes and also just learning something new. So it. I feel like listening to your story, it is that shift in your body that makes you, like, what is happening, right?

Like, I am eating very clean, I am working out, I am doing the things that I know, but my body is still shifting. And so that can be quite startling for most people because it’s. It’s a confused time. And we look for that quick fix, right? We.

We look for, okay, what diet can I get on?

I better start restricting calories, you know, I can’t have any more, you know, anything fun anymore, you know, and it’s like we start going through this mental process of, like, ah. And so as you stepped into that, what did that feel like for you? Like, what was the feelings that were coming up?

Oh, I felt like my body was going out of control. I felt very kind of.

I mean, got into a little bit of depression, you know, I mean, that’s part of this whole shift in your 40s and 50s and when you’re moving into a new.

Body.

Yeah, a new body. And. And I felt frustrated because I couldn’t figure out why this was not working anymore. Why, like, what the heck is going.

So what was the biggest aha for you? Like, what was the first thing where you said, oh, oh, that doesn’t work anymore. But this actually does. Like, that got you curious.

Gonna be honest, Like, I don’t even know exactly when the shift happened. I, I, I started following some people on Instagram and the lady who became my coach when I started doing faster way, I started watching her.

And I feel like I’m trying to do that now, have people kind of watch me, but I started watching her, and I think that’s kind of like when the aha moment came on, I.

Was like, oh, you saw somebody doing something different?

Yes. And I, then I started thinking, you don’t think about perimenopause. I mean, you don’t think about it.

No, you’re in the middle. Nobody talks about it with you.

Like, when you go to the doctor, they’re not like, hey, you’re about to step into perimenopause, and these are all the potential things that could happen. It’s like, you don’t feel good. Least this was my experience. And I went to the doctor and I said, what is happening?

And they’re like, oh, you’re just in perimenopause. And I’m like, you say it so happily. Like, I’m feel like I’m dying over here, you know, like, help me help myself.

And unfortunately, they’re not very well versed. Your traditional doctor. Yeah, yeah. Gyn’s just really.

Yeah.

And again, not to their fault. They just have weren’t really trained.

No, it’s a specialty. Yeah, but that’s.

But nobody kind of gives you the forewarning, like, yeah, hey, you know, you’re 35 and, you know, maybe now, maybe 10 years, maybe we don’t know. But here’s the forewarning. You might start feeling this way in the future. And let’s just start to rethink about this a little bit and backtrack.

So it’s kind of like what I would like to do and what I, I’m trying to do is get people to think a little bit ahead of time. Yes. I’m working with midlife women who are in throws of it, and I am trying to help that, but I am also trying to back it up. Back it up.

Women in their 20s, like, start thinking about it now because I don’t feel like anyone ever told me when I was 25. And I know. I get it. When you’re 25, you kind of don’t really.

Well, I think you’re just in a different phase of life and you’re. You’re getting pregnant, you’re getting married, you’re having kids, you’re hanging on by a thread when.

When you’re first a mom, you know, like, there’s so many factors, but. But again, I really do believe, And I know we’re similar because we both are educators, but it’s like, education is what’s going to change, right?

It is what’s going to change us and our mindset and our thoughts around it. So if we’re educating earlier, even if people don’t 100 hear it all, they’re still taking.

Like, I think my kids are taking away many more things than I ever took away in my late teens, early 20s. Like, yeah, it wasn’t even a conversation, right? It was. I saw my mom go through menopause, but it was the hot flashes and the. I don’t even know.

It wasn’t really, but. But it wasn’t really talked about.

I mean, it was just, you know, I was on medication now they took my mom off because it was that whole, you know, scare thing that was happening. And. And that was the last that we talked about it, you know, and then I just kind of kept going on my way and I felt great. In my 40s, I did.

I mean, I felt really good.

And when I did go to the gynecologist, her advice, which I would not ever tell anybody this advice, but it was just keep living, you know, and just keep. Until you don’t really. Until you hit a wall or you don’t feel good. And I was like, okay. I mean, it sounded like.

Sounded good because I felt good, you know, it sounded good because I was a healthy. What I deemed as being healthy, right? Like, it sounded logical until I got there.

And I was like, that was the dumbest advice I ever got, you know, because I wasn’t ready. I didn’t even know what was happening. So.

Yeah, well.

And, you know, day by day, when you’re living in your, like, you know, most women who are in their 40s probably have, you know, kids who are in the throes of all the craziness. And so you really just go day by day by day, you don’t have time to think. You really don’t have time to think.

And so it’s like, I Feel like you need somebody there to kind of like say, hey, this is steps that you should be taking. And I mean, they’re doable steps there.

It’s not, I mean, for people that are listening, that maybe are just dipping their toes into per menopause or maybe they’re all the way through and they’re in post when, when we talk about like making some shifts and some changes, they don’t have to be overwhelming and like take over your whole entire life.

It is the simple, tiny things that we can do on a daily that become more natural and that will help you to create a different lifestyle than what maybe you’re eating on the run, you’re eating this.

And so one of the things I wanted to definitely dive into was, you know, I think we talked, just talked about like listening to our bodies, like getting more in tuned and in touch with the things that are going on. So for me, and I would love to know how, how you worked this.

But for me, like getting quiet in the morning, having that still time really allowed me to connect to myself and to, to talk to myself and think about do I feel really good, right?

Or am I just feeling good enough to get through the day or what’s coming up for me, Do I feel anxious about whatever it is or do I feel like I’m deprived or do I feel like I’m starving or I feel like I’m just constantly eating, like just having those conversations, which without that quiet time for me in the morning was definitely not happening. So for you, what was, what were some of the things? How did you start getting in tune with your body?

I definitely felt same kind of thing.

I started, started having to listen a little bit closer and I started diving into the hormone situation and started like researching more and started thinking like, okay, this is what’s going on with my body. And like learning how your hormones play a role.

I mean, we all know a general idea of how our hormones work, but I think I was diving more into it and I started thinking I don’t need to. Like we said, we don’t need to deprive ourselves of food. We don’t need to go into these. Like I need to do cardio for 40 million hours a day.

I just started learning more about how the body, mind connection, all of those things started, start to go together. So yes, I also would sit and sit in the morning, relax, take five minutes, literally five minutes.

Because let’s be real, we all don’t have an hour or an hour in the morning. You know, like we Would love to sit, like on a Sunday, I might do that. I might sit for an hour and do things.

But five minutes in the morning, taking the intention, you know, reminding myself that this is my body and this is how I want to treat it. So that’s kind of where I started. And then, like I said, just doing a lot of diving into, trying to figure out how my body is working.

And it’s still, it’s still like a work in progress. There’s never, I don’t feel like there’s ever going to be an end to it. You know, I think a lot of people are looking for the quick fix and the.

Well, they will, I mean, I think.

And again, in defense of most people, they have been taught, well, if you don’t like, let’s say, you know, the way you look in your clothes or you don’t like your weight per se, if you just do this, then you’ll be there and then you just go back to your old ways. You know, it’s, it’s, it’s never been taught as a lifestyle change. And that I think is definitely been a disservice.

But I feel like that conversation is happening more and more. And again, education is definitely key to understanding, you know, how much sugar we ingest as a nation, how much processed food we ingest.

So where can you make those little shifts? But again, you have to learn those things, right? You have to be aware.

So I want to talk about the like, that myth of like the low calories withdrawing an entire food group, things like that. And again, maybe it did serve somebody in their 20s and 30s, but it’s definitely not something that works in these later years.

So let’s talk about why and what you’ve learned around that. The why of like, how a low calorie diet isn’t really serving or restriction.

Calories out kind of thing anymore. It’s literally learning.

When I talk about like the faster way thing that I’ve been working on, it’s literally about figuring out which specific or like how much macros can go directly towards your body. Specific.

Okay, so let’s define macros because I know a lot of people don’t understand what that word actually means.

So these are the macronutrients that your body needs is your proteins and your fats and your fiber. You, everybody needs different amounts according to your body, how much you move, how much you weigh, all those types of things.

Your own body needs different nutrients. So the more muscle you have can also change. Can you know, you can have calories that you can burn at a resting state as well.

So, um, so let me just stop.

You there for one second because I want to just talk real quick about the calories in, calories out, just to give people an actual, like, concrete example. So let’s say we had two snacks and I’m going to make up the calories because I don’t know them off the top of my head.

But, you know, you’ve got tortillas and you have salsa, and let’s just say that’s, you know, 150 calories. And then you have an apple with some peanut butter and that’s 150 calories.

They’re not the same because they have different macronutrients within them.

And so you’re gonna possibly hold on to and feel more satiated having something that has fiber, fat and protein, rather than just a carb and a, you know, a salsa being like a, you know, some vegetables or whatever. So that’s when we’re talking about calories in, calories out. Not every calorie is equal.

You could eat a bag of Skittles that’s, you know, 300 calories, which I don’t know if they are. And then you could have a bag of nuts, you know, that equal 300 calories.

And you’re definitely more satiated with the nuts than you are with the Skittles.

Right.

So that’s, that’s what we’re talking about.

And then the macro part, I think it has a lot of validity, but I, but I think there was some diets back in the day that were, you know, doing the macro thing but leaving out and restricting. And I think that’s where it got kind of a bad rap. So that’s why I wanted you to explain.

And then there’s micronutrients, which are your minerals and, and things like that. Yeah.

Which you can go way far into it.

But to make simple, you know, you need a certain amount of protein, you need a certain amount of carbs, and you need a certain amount of fats every day. So like I said, it’s definitely different for every single person, which it should.

Be because like you said, it’s. We’re all bio individual. I mean, then that’s what makes us different.

And that’s why I personally feel like diets don’t work because they’re, they’re slotted for one particular individual that created it or designed it.

Yeah. Whatever the diet may be.

Yeah. It doesn’t really work for everybody. And then it’s like that person that it works for that the other person. It doesn’t. They’re frustrated.

Why isn’t it working for me? Why aren’t I getting the same results? But you’re not. Because you’re different. Because you’re bio individual.

Because we have to learn to love ourselves for who we are and where we are and how we were created. And then that kind of helps us to shift.

Yeah. And I found that once I dialed into. So let me backtrack here.

When I start talking about macronutrients to people and talking about counting your macros, the first thing I get is a wall. People don’t want to have to think about what they’re putting into their mouths, to be honest. And neither do I.

I don’t want to sit there every day going, you know, how much protein is in this and how much carbon?

But just like anything, when you do it long enough, you’re not having to think about it at. It becomes more robotic because you just.

Yeah, and I agree. And that’s where. I guess that’s where I’m at too.

Like, I, I’ve done this for so long and I, I found that once I started this program, I found that I was doing it somewhat already. Like, you know, I always knew, like, hey, I was supposed to be eating protein.

Like, I knew that just being an athlete, you know, you need to eat protein and, you know, you need to eat carbs. And there was never a time in my life where I was like, no, I’m not going to eat carbs.

I mean, every time I ever talk to my kids about things, I always say, let’s do things in moderation. You know, there’s always that word, let’s be in moderation.

But again, not every carb is created the same. So it is, it’s learning about what is real carbs and what are like, yeah, earthly carbs, you know, versus boxed carbs.

Agree, 100. So that’s, that’s where I felt like I was probably not making the best decisions in my life at that point. I was probably.

Well, I’m not saying probably. I was eating too many processed foods and, you know, because everything was always quick on the go and I would try to make the best possible choices.

Yeah. That I can. And even now, I still have those moments of like, okay, I’m gonna eat this processed food.

I mean, we, we just live in that world where it’s not.

Always possible.

No, it’s not always possible. We have to make the best possible choices in the moment. And sometimes that is a Box of crackers somewhere. You know, I mean, it’s.

We’re not all perfect here, and we can’t be. And there’s no expectation of that. Especially when I’m working with clients, there’s no expectation.

And I want people to understand that, yes, this is a lifestyle shift. And yes, in the beginning for some people.

For most people, it’s just reading the ingredients, learning things, and the more you do it, the easier it gets. And I have a lot of clients who start out and they’re very like, they kind of push back at it a little bit, like, I can’t do this. I don’t have time.

Da, da, da. There’s always that I don’t have time part of it. And we all have the same 24 hours in the day. Yes.

And how we choose to use those 24 hours is up to you.

So 100%. And I think, you know, again, that’s mindset.

And there’s a lot of mindset shifts that have to happen in order for the first thing is becoming aware of how you are loving or not loving your body. Right. Like, how much you pour into yourself defines how much you are preserving and loving on yourself, which.

You’re the only person that’s going to do that for yourself. Right. I mean, no one’s coming to save you. So. But I love when people say they don’t have time.

I actually think that’s like the best statement, because it’s true. We. Nobody has time. But you can find the time and you can carve out the time if it’s an important thing for you. Because you don’t miss doing this.

You don’t miss doing whatever their things are. Right. Like, they do four things every day. It’s like, you do that every day. Right. Like, you’re. So it’s just maybe trading one of those things out.

It might be, how much screen time do you have? Let’s look at screen time.

If you’re on the screen for two hours a day, 30 minutes of that, two hours could transform your entire week just by sitting down and making a plan. So I think, again, it’s. It’s also helping people to just see things from a different lens.

And when you were talking about, you know, sometimes there is just that box of crackers, or sometimes, you know, you’re in a position where it’s like you’re doing the best that you can. It’s like, okay, well, if that’s there and you can pair it with something great. But it is also giving that grace and that 80, 20.

And there is some flexibility. If you do. If you eat one thing that might not, you know, be in your list of whatever you’ve created for yourself, it doesn’t mean that you’ve failed.

And now you just go back to what you were doing. It’s like, those are called dips. You got to, like, get down and get back up and just keep going and enjoy whatever it is.

The dips are going to happen every day. I mean, absolutely, they’re not going to. But like you said, 80, 20. You try to eat 80%.

The more you eat more, like the more healthier foods you eat, whole foods you eat, then the more you can have the grace to not be perfect. Because I feel like the more I, you know, like, I mean, you were talking about traveling. I know recently about taking snacks on traveling.

And I’ve been traveling quite a bit lately and stuff. So I make sure that I have all the different things that I. I’ve learned and bring with me.

But let’s be real, your schedules go wonky when you’re traveling. You don’t have time to think ahead of time, and you are going to just splurge when you’re. You’re traveling. But it’s.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

But again, if.

If you’ve prepped yourself to bring along some snacks, right, you’ll be doing less of that. You’ll still be doing it, but you won’t. And, you know, it’s interesting that you bring up that because when we had babies, right?

And even, I don’t know, even I think, five, six years old, we never left the house without packing snacks for the kids to have in our bag. We never left without water for them or juice or whatever it was, you know, but we don’t. Can’t find the time to pack ourselves some snacks.

So again, it’s. It’s to me, it goes back to prioritizing and how much do you really want to feel better?

Yeah. I mean, this whole entire journey of mine is about me trying to feel better myself, right? Yeah, of course I want to feel better.

I want to get up in the morning every day and not feel tired and lackadaisical and like. And sometimes you feel sick, sometimes your stomach hurts. You’re like, wondering why your stomach hurts or all those things. I wanted to stop that.

I wanted to get up in the morning. I wanted to feel strong. I wanted to feel like I could conquer the day and keep on going. And that’s what I want to do.

For other people, it’s really comes down to you need to make the time for yourself now because later you might not have it. And people always, not always, but people do go, go, go, go, go until something goes wrong with their health.

And then that’s a very true statement. And it’s something that I think has been acceptable and just part of the norm, if you will. And I think that conversation is beginning to change.

I think a lot of people are getting louder about it and wanting different for themselves and their children and their grandchildren generation that’s coming up. And I think again, it is possible. It’s just the conversation has to change.

The education behind these things have to be taught in a different way so that you know, when you do wake up in the morning, you’re. We have the whole movement thing I want to touch on. Because that’s another area where I feel there’s a lot of pushback.

And I think from my experience growing up, it was like PE was not my thing. Right. I was not a sports kind of person. And that is what I related working out with. Right.

Like in my mind it was like, you know, once a year, twice a year, you would do the fitness whatever test or something, you know, do like 50 push ups. Like, we never even practiced to get there. You know, it was like we just sat down one day, touch your toes, like, try to do a pull up.

It’s like you never even taught me how to do a pull up. Like, and you just expect them to get up and do a pull up. Like, I’m not even. I dance. Like, I don’t do lifting, you know, like it was.

And I just think it’s such a disservice to kids who are not that not athletic. Because it really puts, at least for me, it put like this spin on, like, ugh. Like, I don’t like the gym. I don’t like those things.

But when in actuality that wasn’t true. It was just a story I made up because I couldn’t do a pull up in gym class because. Or hang.

Whatever it was, you know, it’s because when you go to PE every day, you never do that. They never taught you how to even work up to something like that. It was like, go play kickballer.

And I’m not bashing pe I’m just saying the conversation in PE should be changed to movement.

Yeah.

And what you like to do for movement might be different than what I like to do for movement. But I never, I didn’t even come from a family. My parents did not work out, you know, like I didn’t come from.

So this was just me having to really change the trajectory, you know, and show something different for myself and my kids.

And, and even though you grew up in gymnastics and, you know, your kids saw all of that and saw you working out all of the time, it still looks different now for us in our 40s and 50s. And if I could go back and talk to myself in my 30s and 40s, you know, I did CrossFit for a short amount of time, a year or two, and I did love it.

And then I got injured because, again, just whatever. But I should have stuck with more of the weight training side of things. But I equated that with the gym.

And I don’t really love the gym, but now I don’t have to do that. I can do it at home. And I’m starting to find success in finding something that works for me in that.

But I want you to talk about the strength training aspect because I think you’re very knowledgeable in that. And we are conditioned to do 45 minutes of cardio. But what’s the difference between doing cardio and doing strength training?

And how, what are the benefits you can get from strength training and not just cardio.

Well, give me a moment because I have to like my brain, you know, here’s that perimenopausal thought process. We’ve talked about this. The more muscle you have, the more calories you burn, okay? Your bone health. Nobody talks about your bone health.

The more strength, strength training you do, the more you can increase your bone density. And as we get older, of course, we know that your bone density starts to go away. And that’s when people have hips breaking or things like that.

I mean, that’s just something that happens into our 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. And you see our 70 or 80 year old mothers falling over and breaking, breaking their hip. Right? And so that’s another thing.

Your, your lifting weights will help with your hormones as well. It’ll help balance your estrogen, it’ll help balance your insulin, it’ll help balance your cortisol.

This is all good for your moods, the fat loss and your sleep as well. You can weigh the same, so it kind of re. Shifts your body. So like right now you see a lot of people who are what I consider skinny fat.

They look skinny, but they don’t have any muscle tone or definition to their body. And so then.

Well, and I want to talk to that just really quick because I know you’re in perimenopause and I’m post and I’ve been post about five years.

And for anybody listening who is in Perry, I think this is one of the most serious parts of the conversation because what has happened and what happens to your body when you get into post and you really are deficient in estrogen and all the other hormones. Right. Working out and lifting it is so much harder to gain that muscle.

It is. And yeah, you lose like 3% of your muscle every year after the age of 40. So yeah. So like you just don’t even realize it and. But as you like.

I’m so observant. I feel like I’m so observant with people.

I like watch people all the time and it’s not in a creepy kind of way, but like I see older people, I’m like walking to Target or walk into Publix or whatever and I see, you know, they’re, you know, hunched over or they’re just walking super slow or. Because you can see that they don’t have any muscle definition or tone to their body.

And so it’s not about, you know, being this buff, like six pack, ab type person. That’s really not what I’m all about. Yes, I, I have muscles. I know I do. My body is genetically.

But you also trained for many, many, many years in gymnastics. So your body also probably has a muscle memory, you know, to remember and, and again that you’re.

What I love about you is you’re not saying everybody’s body has to look like mine. You just work and that’s what your body turns to because of the work you do. And it’s not going to be for everybody.

But that doesn’t mean that’s not the definition of success, I guess is having a six pack and muscles. However, being able to squat and get back up and get on the floor and get back up and pick up a 50 pound bag of dog food.

And those are the things that people should be measuring. Exactly.

That’s exactly what I want people to realize. It’s functional.

It’s about, hey, you know, later on in life when you do have grandkids or later on in life when nobody’s around in your house and you don’t have anyone to help you, you can, yeah, go get the dog food bag or yeah, you can lift your suitcase and put it over and put it away in your, in your cabinets or wherever you put them or you can get off the floor. I mean, that’s one major thing is because people lose bone density and lose muscle. They fall on the floor and they can’t get themselves back up.

So I mean, it’s a real thing. It’s, this isn’t just a vanity thing anymore. It’s not a vanity thing anymore. It’s, it’s functional and it is real.

It is just the day to day movement of your life.

And you want to be able to continue to move for as long as you possibly can because the more you move, the less problems you’re going to have later on in life. And that is the honest truth about this all. So I’m not here and I love it and I, I, you know, and.

I think that again, that’s a shift that I hope the audience gets today is it’s. Yes, you’re gonna feel better, right? You’re gonna feel better, you’re gonna look better to yourself because you are capable and you’re able.

It’s not because you have a six pack or because you don’t have any flab or because it’s because you’re building muscle and you’re more functional. And then really that is it. I mean, it’s key.

Even now, like doing simple tasks of household things, you know, like going up, whatever with your pool, whatever it is, you should not feel depleted after doing something like that. And if you are, that’s really should be that signal to yourself that you need to be increasing your muscle mass.

And, and again, I want to go back to the strength training part because I think so many people have that vision of gym giant, you know, weights, the meathead type vision, right? And that is not truth, right? That’s just one type of it. It’s one type. If you love that, great, go do it.

I mean they’re more power to you, but that’s not what you have to do in order to build muscle. And that’s what I love about what have.

You know, I have been watching you is like you started with smaller weights and you’re now just kind of building up. There is an. And you might talk about this for a second, but when you are doing weights, failure, what is that called?

I want to say failure to launch, but that’s not what it. What, what’d you say?

Lifting to failure.

Yeah, right. Lifting to failure. Like there is something behind that. It’s not like you should take three pounds and just keep doing it and then.

Yeah, and just keep going, right.

Like you want to actually, you know, challenge yourself a little bit. And that failure part is where you know that you’re doing, you’re getting some kind of a Benefit.

Yeah, I mean you definitely have to. You’re not going to sit there and yeah, like you said, take your 3 pound weights and just keep going like this, like, oh, I’m lifting.

No, you really do need to start lifting things that are heavy.

You know what’s actually interesting that we just said that is if you haven’t taken a bar class, anybody who’s listening, people think, oh, that’s going to be so easy. Right? Like you’re going to go in and it’s just for dancers. Like, no, it’s not. The. I was, I was explaining this to my husband yesterday.

The, the amount of small muscles that you use, like the intricates little muscles, like. And when, when I would go to these classes, it’s a lot of older women and they’re very muscular and this is all they do.

And it’s like so again, the defying. It has to be £50. It’s just the way that they have, you know, programmed their workouts, but the little fine muscles that they use.

So it’s really interesting.

And I think again, if you’re somebody who doesn’t love movement or hasn’t really found their thing, try a bunch of different things, you know, try lots of things.

But if you’re in someone who’s in a crunch and you only have a little bit of time a day, you know, per day, you also don’t have to work out for an hour. You. There are 20 minute workouts, there are 30. So that’s something that Faster Way provides is shorter workouts for.

Yeah, the faster life. Yeah, I mean like the whole premise of Faster Way is whole new whole food nutrition, the 30 minute workouts, the intermittent fasting is.

That’s a whole thing, but it is fitting it into your lifestyle. And it is, um, there’s women from their 20s all the way to their 70s or even probably beyond that in this program. So there’s.

And there’s men in the program as well. But like. And it works for men as well. I mean, I don’t want to leave that out.

We are talking about perimenopause and all that kind of stuff, but men have go through their own.

Men have hormone issues too.

Yeah, they do. And so, but it’s literally about fitting it into a lifestyle that works for you.

And I, I know I promote, I’m promoting this as like something that I do. But when I take on people as clients, I, yes, I try to of course work you into my program, but I also try to work you into like your own life.

Like I’m not exactly there and like tell you you got to do this, this, this and this and you can’t deviate from this at all. No, I’m telling you, I mean like my overall entire goal is just to get you to move your body and to put like whole foods into your mouth.

That’s. And again, when, when you work with somebody, it’s, you’re starting wherever they’re starting and then you’re helping them.

But it’s not an end when it ends because this is, becomes a lifestyle. So as you grow in your skills and in your transformation, then other things pop up and then you continue with those things.

But I, I do want to touch just really quick on intermittent fasting because again, I think it gets a bad rap. And I would love for you to define, I mean, I have my own definition, but I’d love for you to define intermittent fasting and why it’s important.

It’s giving your body a chance to rest. So there’s different ways, everybody has different ideas.

But to be honest, the whole entire idea of it is to give your gut a chance to rest and your gut needs that time. And I don’t, I think I’ve shifted my mindset on this as I’ve gone through and done it.

I started out like, oh my gosh, I don’t feel like I can fast for that long. At first I was like, oh, I can’t fast for 12 hours. What are you talking about? You know that at first. And then the second part was, oh, I can do this.

And then I went to a complete other side of it and I was, I was fasting for 16 hours and only eating in an eight hour window. But in the, in the meantime, I had listened to my body.

Exactly. I was just going to say, yeah.

And I think that’s where it comes into play. Whereas you, you, I don’t want to say there’s a one size fits all for intermittent fasting.

So you know, you can say, oh, you should do 12, 12 or you should do 14, 10 or you should do 16, 8, but you don’t. And I’ve learned that through this whole process is like, I had to start listening to my body.

And also like if you are lifting weights, then you really do need to eat. You can’t like sit there and, and Lift heavy weights or do all these types even, I mean any kind of movement.

I really have learned that like to put the food into my body to fuel it whether I work out, fasted or not. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. It just kind of depends on honestly how I’m feeling that day. Like if I’m feeling like I.

And it is about listening to what your body’s telling you. Like if my stomach is growling and it’s going like that, I’m gonna eat, I’m not gonna sit there and not eat.

So say just because it’s that time I’m not, because I, I’m not past.

It, you know, like I started listening more. But I also do try to give my body that time to just rest.

So for people who have never fasted before, I would always suggest never doing anything extreme to get started. Right. Don’t you just jump into like a 16 hour fast? First of all, your body is not prepared.

But I would say to initially get started the idea of just simply not eating after dinner.

Yeah, that’s where I start with.

It’s a couple of hours before you go to bed and the science behind that is because it is while you rest, if you’re trying to digest while you’re sleeping, then your miter motor can’t really sweep through and get rid of the toxins and your body doesn’t know what it’s doing. So there is science behind why.

But I think that if you’re somebody new to this, it’s not an all or nothing, it’s not an everyday, it’s gonna be what works for you. But just having awareness, how late do you eat and how many hours before you go to bed do you eat?

Yeah, a lot of people, that’s my.

You’re not really doing good for your body because now your body’s trying to digest garbage and you know, and people.

Wonder sometimes why they have sleep issues.

Well, oh yeah, because your body can’t.

Yeah, your body is working towards digesting that food it needs. It doesn’t have, you know, it can’t put you to sleep while it’s trying to like digest whatever you ate at 11 o’ clock.

And I’m not saying, you know, that always is perfect. Like you can’t always have that perfect thing. But comes back to the 80, 20, most of the time try to, you.

Know, well, and I think once you start doing it, what I recognize is when I do eat late, I do not sleep well, and I don’t feel good in the morning. You know, it’s not. I’m not waking up as refreshed.

And I think again, I’m like, you know, so many years into this, and I’m still learning these things, you know. And again, I know there. There’s principles to know and there’s education to know, but it is trial and error, and it is what works for you.

And again, depending on your job, like, you might not get home, you might have a night job, right? And so that changes everything for yourself. So, you know, there is no one size fits everybody.

And I think that’s the cool thing about health and wellness. There are some basic foundations, like whole foods, moving your body, your mindset, sleep.

You know, there’s some basics, but for everybody, that’s going to look a little bit different. And. And I think, you know, your program helps people to get started, right? It helps people to find the framework.

I feel like it’s a good framework.

And then you can kind of shift that, like, what goes according to, like, your likes and your dislikes, what your body feels and doesn’t feel and all those things.

But it gives you a definite good jumping, like springboard. It’s a springboard for something different. And you take that into whatever you want to make that as you keep going in your.

I agree. And I feel like for me, you know, a lot of people don’t want to have to think, you know, they want it to, like, I, I, you know, I mean, I wanted it.

I wanted somebody to just say, here, do this. And I feel like that’s, you know, I mean, especially in the beginning when you.

I was gonna say in the beginning because you also don’t feel great. You don’t know what’s.

You’re overwhelmed because of all the noise and all the different things you’ve seen on social media and on this and read this book and that, and it can be so over. So it is nice to have somebody to kind of lay a foundation to get started.

And I think that working with a health coach helps that because they learn you, you learn them, they’re supporting you, they’re suggesting you’re coming up with your own, you know, plan, but it’s with somebody’s help. And I think that’s helpful when you’re starting out with that overwhelmed feeling of nothing’s been working.

I’m at my wits End, you know, all of the things.

So, yeah, I mean, I. I find that with a lot of the women that I’m working with, it’s like, I don’t. I’m working out, I’m eating right. We’ve had.

We.

We were talking about this and then. But it’s not working and all those things. And so I kind of help try to get rid of the noise.

Yeah.

I mean, honestly.

And focus on you or them and.

On that person individually.

So you and I have, you know, obviously we talk a lot and, you know, we’re doing different things, but we’re doing the same things, you know, and. But one of the things you and I realized, and it is nice to. To start on the journey, but it’s great to have community.

And when you have community, so much more growth happens because you’re feeling supported, because other people are kind of not necessarily doing exactly what you’re doing, but they’re on the same journey of trying to pour back into themselves, to show up for themselves. And as you know.

You know, and if you are in this stage of life, if you have older children, that’s a whole different scenario that you have to kind of work through because you are forever part postpartum. You’re never going back to who you were, but things have changed because you’re mommy differently.

And so having, again, that supportive group makes you want to focus on yourself. It makes you want to pour into yourself a little bit more.

And I think that’s where I started to really thrive, when I started to grow a community of people who wanted some of those same things.

Yeah. To have the same mindset at least, or to have the support of, you know, I’m going through this, and I mean, it has made such a huge difference.

When I meet up with women and I, you know, go for a walk or, you know, we go. And I mean, there’s so many things you can do. We go, go do yoga or we go, whatever you want to do. It doesn’t even matter.

Like, sometimes it’s just going for a cup of coffee. But to have that, we need community.

Right. Like, women, especially all humans need community, But I think women need community. And we lose that. Yeah. Connection, Good. That’s. I like that word.

Connection. And, yeah, I think, you know, in the end, when there was a.

A lady who I interviewed last year, her name was Kara, and she said something really profound, you know, in your community that you build, you always want to have people that come before you, people that are with you and people that come behind you.

And that really is what makes a community grow in a way, because everybody is kind of pouring into themselves and other people and learning from other people. And it, you know, you’re not just with the people that are exactly where you are. And I think that’s really super beneficial.

And I see that from a teacher perspective. Like when you have a classroom of kids, they’re all different varieties of, you know, intelligence and like, interests and things like that. So.

Yeah, yeah. Anyways, all right, so I know today, as you are walking away from this episode, there’s a lot of 1% shifts you could take away.

And so I want you guys to take some time to digest and what really resonated with you, you know, whatever that was for you today, I would love to see you guys implement something this week. You can obviously drop that in the comments of the episode. You can DM myself also. All of Bethany’s stuff will be in the show notes.

I’m gonna let you say in a second, but you can DM her if you have any questions or if you just want to share where you are. It’s not. It is for both of us. It is about hearing from you guys and seeing where you’re at and then building that community.

And I think that’s a beautiful thing that can come out. Podcasts is just connection, connecting with people that want to also have the same mindset. So, Bethany, where can people find you?

Well, definitely, I mean, the main two places are on Facebook, are on Instagram at Bethany Dole or Bethany Smith. Dole is my Facebook. That’s where I kind of thrive and find people that I want to connect with and work with in the end, hopefully.

But yeah, okay, well, I will definitely drop all of that in the show notes.

And then before we end, just super quick, what are a couple of non negotiables you’ve created for yourself recently or you know, could be a long term thing that really helps you to show up your best for yourself every day.

I mean, silly maybe, I don’t know. Definitely. Right now my non negotiable is drinking my water.

It’s not silly.

Not silly, but like people wonder how I drink 80 or more ounces of water a day. I, I don’t know, but I have made it a non negotiable. That’s kind of something that I have to do every day, otherwise I don’t feel good.

I find if, if I’m. When I’m get off of that, I, I don’t feel good. And honestly, any kind of movement it doesn’t have to be lifting weights during the day.

It can be just walking, it can be anything. I just like to move. So that’s another non negotiable. And the last one that I really honestly have just come into more recently is my sleep.

I know I sound that, that sounds like everyone’s like I, I don’t have time to sleep either. I’m so busy. I mean I hear this all the time. Oh, I got four hours of sleep or this.

And I mean perimenopause is the time when we are struggling with sleep. But honestly my sleep, sleep, I’ve started a sleep like wind down type thing.

Yeah. Evening.

Yeah. Evening routine. The more I do it, the better it gets. And I’ve been, you know, getting more and more sleep every night.

And that is so in talking about that because I think that PM and AM routines are super important to start your day and to end your day. But what are some things in your PM routine that you’ve started to implement that is shifting some of that for you?

Well, you know, like I don’t drink caffeine, but stopping the caffeine way long before you think you should stop your caffeine. And then I started just more recently stopping the screen time because I am, I was, I am and I’m still Doom scroller. Yeah.

You start getting on something and then I just start going, going, going. And then it’s like, oh, I’m tired and I go to bed. But I started just cutting that off, you know, like an, at least an hour before I go to bed.

So that, so and I, and I’ve heard this before. Well, I don’t. What do I do then? You know, if I’m not looking at. This is when I look at my screen time. Like this is when I sit on.

The couch and I have. Yeah, right.

This is my only time. So I take this and so I’m going to, you know, try to remove it. But what should I put in place of it?

Well, I mean at this point I, I like to, you know, I like to read books. That’s me. But this is the time when you can do your, your facial stuff that you’ve been wanting to do and things like that. That helps.

I mean also talking to your family. I, you know, it’s just such an odd. Talking to your husband, having those conversations. It’s, it sounds so silly.

It sounds silly. But like I know my daughter came into my room the other night and we’ve talked about this before. You’re teenagers and my Kids are not teenager.

And one at the end of her teenage. But like, they don’t really want to talk until it’s like 10 or 11 o’ clock at night.

But, you know, she came in the other night at 10 o’ clock and I was in my pajamas in bed and just laying there. But then we just sat and Talked for like 30 minutes and it’s so refreshing and so nice to have those conversations that we, we just kind of forget.

Yeah. So I mean, those things that I do, like skincare routine, love it in books.

And then yes, definitely still having those conversations with your family.

So, yeah, it’s really important and I just think, you know, again, it’s just something we’ve gotten away from just because of the way our world has gone to all this technology and stuff and, but you know, even helping our children in these, you know, late teen, early 20s to recognize that, you know, taking away your screen an hour before bed really helps with your sleep and not looking at your phone first thing in the morning, even if it’s just 10 minutes, just. And really the way I try to explain it is it’s not really that it makes your brain start being on fire the minute that.

Because it’s like all the thoughts, you know, it’s like just get up and have your own thoughts. Go to the bathroom, wash your face, brush your teeth.

Right.

Talk to yourself for five seconds. You know, it’s like before you get somebody else’s noise in your head, have a relaxing mindset in the morning, you know.

And again, it’s still a work in progress, but they’re starting, I think, to see it a little bit because they’ve just experimented, right? They’ve, they’re like, I’m just gonna try it.

And then it’s like, oh, this month I was terrible at it, but, you know, last month I really did it and, but now I’m like, what’s the difference? What do you see differently? And I think again, so much of it goes back for everybody listening to experimentation.

We have to experiment and see what works the best for us, but we also have to know what to try. And I think that’s, that’s important.

So cutting out the noise, but listening to follow like one or two people that are having the success or not even the success, but that look like they feel good, you know, that look like if they’re having a, A, a good routine and it looks good to you, try it on. You know, there’s no shame in, in if it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work, you just move on.

Yeah.

Right. All right, so as we end again, if this episode resonated with you, please share it with another mom. Midlife.

You know, mom or woman, Anybody who you think you know would benefit from hearing any of this.

And I know we were all over the place, but I think all of the things really are important because they all create those 1% shifts that we need in order to transform and become the healthiest versions in this Next Generation chapter. So, Bethany, thank you so much for coming on. I absolutely loved it, and maybe we’ll do it again soon. I’ll talk to you guys soon. Have a good week.